Transcript
It was starting to look like Chad was never gonna come back from his rounds, so I poked my head in there...and fuck me—next thing I know I've got some kinda maggots squirming down my throat!
I was gagging and heaving, but those little bastards didn't seem to mind none—they just wouldn't come up. I was staggering around like a madman and then I saw it: a green herb.
My gramma once told me that green herbs are a natural bug deterrent. So I grabbed one, shoved it down my gob and swallowed...and whaddaya know, the little things didn't want to be in there anymore. I've never been so happy to throw up!
I'm gonna head back out there to look for Chad. If anyone else sees this, remember: eat your greens!